I have my first audition in many years this week and I’ve struggled with the piece I’m working on for it. The audition requires a three-minute story and I choose to write a piece. At first I liked the idea I had, but then I began to second guess myself.
In true little d form, I procrastinated working on it, fearing that I would realize my idea was shit and that I’d be left with nothing. For a few days I thought about the piece, but had difficulty looking at it.
Finally, on Sunday, I approached my husband for help. After I sussed it out a little, I began to see that I wasn’t fully committing to my idea. I was nervous to fully commit to it, since it was a risky idea and something I’d never tried before. I eventually humphed down into a chair, frustrated with my situation. My husband gave me one of those looks and I knew exactly what he was going to say: You’ve got to trust yourself.
“But it’s so risky!” I complained.
He laughed at my childishness. “Yes, but it’s also really cool. And I bet no one else has thought of it.”
“But what if it’s not what they want?” I frowned. “What if I’m going about this all wrong?”
My husband didn’t respond, just looked at me with exasperation.
“I know, I know. I’ve got to trust myself.” My husband laughed and nodded.
So I decided to fully give myself over to this idea. I don’t want to give too many details here, since I’m still fleshing the idea out and don’t want to speak too soon, but I think it has potential. It is risky though. I’ve never approached auditioning like this and I’m unsure of how the auditors will receive it. But I guess I have to change the story on this, looking at it as an opportunity to try something fun and different and new.