In college I had two groups of friends. One were all related to theater. I did shows with them, had classes with them, was in academic societies with them. We became close as a result of all this exposure and I can honestly say that I count these people as some of my dearest friends to this day.
The other were friendships that I developed over my first year at school. The university that I attended was a little behind on the times and therefore packed three of us in our dorm rooms my freshmen year. Those two girls (who were best friends before coming to school and remain close today) introduced to me to other people they knew and a group of friends was formed. Over the course of college we remained close, even after freshmen year was over and a handful had moved away or switched colleges. When I graduated in 2004, I never imagined 7 years later that I wouldn’t still be speaking with them.
Last night I was reading The Bloggess (a hilarious blog that you should totally check out) and I came across a post she had about a haunted dollhouse that she has been constructing over the last ten years. It instantly made me think of one of the above girls, how around this time of year she was obsessed with scary movies and haunted houses, how much she loved all the lore. I instantly knew I needed to reach out and find her.
So I turned to what was once the bane of my existence, Facebook. I resisted Facebook for sometime, mostly because I worked with kids and didn’t want to deal with them trying to friend me, but also because I didn’t want to get sucked into that world. But last night I was so thankful that I’m on because finding her took all of 5 minutes. Once I found her, I found my old roommates, then another friend of ours.
I can’t believe how much I’ve missed. Both of my old roommates got married (one I knew about, the other I didn’t) and one of them actually just had a baby a week ago! One of my friend requests was accepted immediately and I ended up FB chatting with her for 45 minutes. After looking through pictures I realized something that has been happening a lot lately: Them not being in my life has created a hole, a hole that I didn’t even know I had until I saw their faces. Suddenly I realized that I’ve been missing them this whole time, a fact my brain has kept hidden from me.
I was so scared of friending them, mainly because of how long it’s been since we’ve talked. Were they all mad that I hadn’t called? Were they hurt that I didn’t invite them to my wedding (a decision I agonized over, by the way)? Did they even want to reconnect with me? Luckily, at least with the little online interaction we’ve now had, some of them still want to know me.
I feel like it’s hard to make that first move in finding a way back into someone’s life, reestablishing a connection that you think you’ve lost. I know I’ve struggled with it. But truthfully it’s always worth the risk, seeing as people who know your true self and still love you are little gems hidden among the rocks. Hopefully this will be a first step to rebuilding what I once had with them.