About 5 years ago I left a corporate job and along with it health benefits. I left to pursue a career with a children’s theater, the same children’s theater that I left right at the beginning of this process. Right before I left I got a physical and haven’t had one since. I lived without insurance for about 2 or 3 years before I got it on my own. It’s expensive and I question having it some times, but I also get some perks, like 100% covered checkups.
So why haven’t I gotten a checkup in 5 years? Well, for one, I forgot. For awhile I totally forgot that I had this perk. Then I was confused about my coverage, thinking that they only covered a percentage, not the whole thing. Finally, and what was probably really going on the whole time, is I was afraid.
I was afraid of them finding something, that that something would be cancer, that cancer would make me so sick that I would be laid up in bed until I die. Damn monkey brain, just swinging from one branch to another. The cancer fear is probably related to my knowing 4 people in the last two years who were diagnosed with some sort of cancer. All of them were under the age of 40 (which my doctor says is an anomaly by the way). One even passed away. Cancer scares the piss out of me.
I have no reason for this fear. There are literally no cancers in my family, I have a mostly healthy diet, and have been working to cut stress out of my life. Basically I’m not a high risk candidate. But I was still scared to go to the doctor.
So why did I finally become proactive about my health? Well because I could feel my health going to shit. With all the stress I experienced over the summer combined with my poor eating and exercising habits, I felt like crap. And even though I’ve been feeling better, I knew I needed to get my health in order. One of the best ways to do that is by going to a professional.
The visit went fine. My doctor gave me a physical, said that I seem pretty healthy, and took some blood to do some tests. I have to wait until Wednesday to get the results and while that’s a little nerve wracking, the waiting, I think I will feel relieved no matter what the results show. While I believe they will come back normal, there’s always a chance. But knowing that in about 24 hours I will know either way is like a weight being lifted.
**UPDATE 10/30: I got all of my test results back and it seems that I am fine. And because of family history, I had a full workup, getting my blood sugars, cholesterol, and my thyroid tested in addition to general vitamin and blood count levels. Apparently my good cholesterol levels are pretty high (a positive thing)! Hooray for being a veggie! I feel so relieved.