Day 124 Risk: Eat My Feelings

On Monday I had allowed some hard emotions to come to the surface (Day 123 Risk) and was still feeling pretty bad on Tuesday. I had had a long day at work and was looking for comfort in any form.

And chocolate, fries and larger than necessary portions eased my stretched nerves.

I’m a former chunky girl. “Oh come on,” you may be thinking. I promise you I’m not lying. Please refer to Exhibit A:

My cheeks were so chubby that two grandma's would have more than a handful.

This is me and my husband in the early part of our relationship. As you can see from my ridiculously round face, I had a little bit too much junk in my trunk. My friends from this time disagree, saying I was curvy but nothing more. The truth is that when I gain weight I gain it all over, so it’s not as noticeable. But the double digits in my pants size are proof enough that I was chubby.

Now you may not be able to see a difference here either. But when you place Exhibit A next to Exhibit B, which was taken more recently, you can definitely see the difference:

Oh look at those glorious, glorious cheekbones!!

So now that you have all the evidence I’m sure you can see why this could be a major risk. It’s completely and plausibly possible to find myself in jeans 3 times bigger than what I currently wear. And having gone through this before I know that once you say, “Screw it” and tear open the cookie bag, it’s very easy to keep going. And one day turns into two days and that turns into weeks that eventually become months. Then, before you know it, you’re lamenting about your thin girl jeans and how you’re determined to get back into them before summer rolls around.

Knowing that one night of indulging was not going to destroy my body and trusting that I know more about food than I did 7 or 8 years ago, I went ahead and took this risk. And oh what a tasty, tasty risk it was.



Risky Thoughts

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