Day 72: Shirk Responsibility

For a full week I avoided emails, phone calls, texts. Very little outside of my life at camp was paid attention to. And while it had to be that way as I had practically no time of my own, my life did not stop here in the city and therefore I came home to a pretty hefty to do list.

If anyone out there has ever been a camp counselor, you know that you are not just working with kids from 9a-5p or even 9a-10p. You are their counselor 24 hours a day. I went to bed thinking about and listening for them and woke up doing the same. Add into that mix a bunch of kids who still need reminding to put their cell phones away when we are doing announcements and where they are supposed to go next, and you have one exhausted group of counselors. I slept 10 hours straight on Friday night.

When I woke up Saturday, I was a shell of myself. My voice was shot, my head was fuzzy. I felt like I’d just gone on a bender in Vegas. In short, I barely had the energy to take a shower let alone tackle my responsibilities.

As always with a perfectionist and a responsibility whore, putting all of this off for one more day was scary to me. But I knew I needed it, knew that there was no way I’d be able to function going forward if I didn’t stop and allow myself a day.

So I did! I slept and finished reading The Help, I watched last week’s episode of the Bachelorette and then slept again. It was brilliant and so needed.

And oh surprise, surprise. No one cared or noticed that I took my day.

I thought it would come as shock when I finally accepted that the world does not revolve around me, something I think most people avoid for as long as possible. But actually it’s the total opposite: It’s a relief.

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