I’ve passed the two month mark! Yeah!!!!!! I can’t believe I’ve had something to post about for 60 full days. Amazing.
When I started this journey I was afraid that I wouldn’t have a risk everyday. Well so far I have toed the line of my comfort zone, pushing myself to look like a fool in public (something that has always terrified me) and face some scary internal realizations.
But I think I’ve been playing it somewhat safe. I think I needed to, just to prove that risks could be taken on a daily basis. But I want to step it up. For a few weeks I’ve been feeling embarrassingly bored with my risk taking. I’ve felt like I’ve pussed out, flirting with some risks, showing it my ankle but not my knee. Well it’s time for some thigh!
I want to step it up. I think it’s only fitting with crossing the two month mark. But that scares the crap out of me. I mean, what if I can only come up with a risk but no way to one up it? What if the one up is not something I’m ready for? And even though I’ve proven to myself that I can do it, what if there are no risks?
For me, committing to pushing further is an experiment in trust. Trusting that I can push further, that I won’t break the bank to do it, that there are ways to one up the risks I’m already doing. And I’m no good with trust (I mean, it took me 8 years to marry my husband for gods sake).
But I can do it. I know I can. So friends who read this blog regularly and live in Chi-Town, I’m looking to you. If you see me not pushing myself, scream out “#61 yo!” and I’ll know I just got slammed.