A good friend recently restarted a yearly tradition of going to a Canadian lake house every summer. She used to as a child with family and last year decided to go back. This year she invited me and my husband and, after some tribulations with getting a place, she finally found a house and booked us yesterday.
Up until this point I was unsure of if we would actually go. My husband had jumped on the idea immediately and said we were in, but with the way things were going for a bit, I kept it in the back of my head that we may not be partaking in the awesomeness.
Here was problem with all this. In keeping this thought in the back of my head, I began to see what could possibly happen that week otherwise. All of these other things suddenly began to seem very important and necessary things to do. I hadn’t made a commitment to anything, but the mere thought got my responsibility gene grooving.
But as we spoke yesterday about all the amazing details I had a thought: I don’t want to rearrange this thing for anyone.
I had been having thoughts of coming up later or maybe not even going in order to stick with these uncommitted commitments. I began the guilt trip that seems to be a regular part of my life. I was, in essence, not putting my wants and desires first.
And what I want, what I need is this type of vacation. Imagine it: A quaint lake house with paddle boats, canoes and inner tubes for your leisurely pleasure. A screened-in deck. Direct access to the lake. No TV, no phones, no access to the outside world. A literal vacation in the sense that I wake up and decide what I feel like doing in that moment, even if it’s staying in bed all day and reading. Bliss.
I made the choice right there that nothing was going to get in the way of this. It scares me for so many reasons: the money, the possible commitments I won’t be able to make, the bears (literally. There are bears there). But there’s also the payoffs: a true chance to relax, the oh so much fun that will be had with the group going, the knowledge that I put myself first.
So we’re going. I don’t know how all the details will pan out but I guess that’s part of the risk. I have to trust that my husband and I and, truthfully, myself alone have done it before. And I can’t not wait for the potential risks that will no doubt crop up 😉