For years I hated my legs. I know as a good feminist I should never admit that, choosing rather to say they are beautiful and that I’m proud they are mine, but I’ve only really begun to appreciate my body in the last year and before that, I despised my legs. To me they looked stumpy and jiggly, like two tree trunks smothered in cottage cheese.
Age has helped to change that, as has quitting theater. Knowing that I will never again be asked to do a scene where I have to change on stage or wear hot pants (yes, I’ve done both) has allowed me to not care if I don’t have the thinnest, tightest thighs.
Even though I’ve begun a revolution with my self image, my wardrobe has not gotten in on the action. I think a part of me still wonders if I’ll actually be able to pull off some of the more revealing styles. Right now the closest I’ve gotten is leggings, which are covered up by long shirts and tunics.
Enter today’s risk. I am headed to NYC this weekend for a Bachelorette party and needed something to wear. I already had a shirt, so all I needed was the bottoms. Before I left for the store, I made the decision that I was going to at least try on some short shorts or skirts, just to see. When I got there, I found a plethora of tiny, exposing items to meet my needs. A part of me felt that I was too old for all this, that I should get something a little more respectable. But since I had made the decision to at least try, I picked up everything I saw that I thought would work.
When I got into the dressing room, I quickly found that most of the short shorts didn’t really look good on me. My thighs are disproportionate with my waist, so when something fits my waist, I can’t squeeze it past mid trunk. And when something fits my thighs, I have the huge gaping thing that gives anyone behind me a clear view down the back of my pants. So annoying.
Then I got to the few skirts I picked up. Most were skin tight and elastic. And when I got them on, I was surprised. They didn’t look that bad! I mean, they hugged every curve and roll, but they also flattered my stomach and were long enough that I didn’t feel like I was 14 again. And, as an added bonus, the cost of one was only half what I had budgeted for myself, so I got two colors!
I was able to try on the skirt for some friends at a BBQ a little later and was met with “Oh my god!” and “Your butt looks hot in that!” While I believe them, it’s still hard to trust that I could look good in those types of clothes. But I wanted to try new things this year and this was actually one of them. Now I just need to find a pair heels that I can walk in all night. Wish me luck…