My mother will be so proud of this risk. Ever since I could dress myself, I’ve left my shirt tails untucked. I have always felt so stumpy with my shirt tucked in. I feel like my non-existent waist is even more illusive when I tuck my shirts in. Thank the lord for tunics.
But recently I noticed that this whole tucking in thing is a new trend. High waist pant with a blousy silky number pushed in and a couple of chains around your neck. Love, love, love the look. The only problem is the women sporting said look are about a foot taller and 5 inches smaller than me. Could this work on me? Could I pull it off?
The other fear with tucking shirts in is the lack of pooch coverage and bloat masking (both of which are regulars in the sitcom of my life). When your pants are clinging on to your belly button for dear life, everything they are covering is on display.
The risk started out not so bad. I have an hourglass shape and tucking in actually looked okay on me. It was difficult to get used to at first, not having had my belt buckle exposed in about 20 years, but eventually it felt natural. I even got catcalled at one point, something I normally despise, but today boosted my failing confidence.
The downhill happened later in the evening. I went to a movie with friends and then out for a drink after. Between the beer and the popcorn and the Tropical Mike and Ikes, I could slowly feel my pants getting tighter and tighter. And then the problem of the high waist pant became apparent: rollage.
Rollage is an expected occurrence at certain events: Thanksgiving, Christmas, any event that involves a buffet. It involves the slow rolling down of the top of your pants to accommodate for your ever increasing jelly roll. Cures for rollage include: stretch pants, sweat pants, babydoll dresses, leggings and long sweater. Rollage is best avoided by choosing non-buckle, non-tight clothes. High waist pants and skinny jeans should be considered off limits when the threat of rollage is imminent.
While I started out looking good, I ended up looking kind of preggos, but in denial about my growing belly and determined to still try to fit into my pre-preggos pants. Thank god we went home early.